Sometimes I ponder for too long on a subject, so long that eventually when I put my thoughts to paper….it ends up in English.
On the 8 October I had the opportunity to attend the memorial service of my aunt who died on the 1 October. Called an opportunity because it was more of a great occasion, than a sad and mournful one.
Just the way my aunt intended it to be, she even chose the church as one where you could walk across the road to the pub. Sad, as the loss of a loved one will always be, especially when she was such a great lady, we found ourselves celebrating her life after the church service, in a pub overlooking the crashing waves of the KZN south-coast. The way she wanted it to be.
She made it so completely easy to do, seeing that she led such a great life. Great in the sense, that when it came to each attendee to say something we would have been able to continue for hours without end. I once again realised that this is the kind of send-off I would like, people sitting around and basking in the wonderful memories of a life shared with myself. Rather this than stand around in little mourning groups focusing on the there and now of the loss.
It was an extended eulogy, words coming as easy as the waves crashing the rocks on the shore. Completely dedicated in every endeavour, wheteher it was work, marriage, her kids or family. Complete selflessness, she loved completely and unconditionally and most important of all: I have never heard her utter an unkind word towards or about anybody. Everybody’s memories could be drawn back to one of these incredible personality traits, and the best part of it all was that it was not only nice words, it was the truth.
This off course further gave opportunity for introspection. Delving into my own life and realising that in many aspects I scored very low in comparison to the great example set by this lady. Fortunately, I still have the opportunity to better myself, in such a way that at my funeral-pub-party I will be remembered in truthfull memories and not pretentious niceties.
The other happening that made this day profound, is that after 3 years of the continuous re-opening of old wounds, Chritine’s murderers were eventually sentenced in court. I think the time has arrived to move on, and focus on being the best person I can be.
This post is not meant to invoke sadness or tears, It is a reminder that one day when your loved one’s are left with only memories of you, they should be profound. Great memories are schedule 6 medication when it comes to the curing of sadness.